Why I believe what I believe, kinda

With the debate that's been raging for the last several months in the blogosphere about Prop 8 in California and the strong feelings that run deep on both sides of the issue, I feel compelled to express some of my feelings on not only this subject, but on the more overarching matters that lie at the heart of the issue.

They say that there's three things you should never discuss at cocktail parties: religion, sex, and politics. The reason the Prop 8 debate has raised such a ruckus is that it covers all three.

At first, I struggled with the friends and family I have that were staunch opponents of the measure, despite professing a belief in the LDS church that encouraged its members to support it. I wondered "How can you claim to sustain a prophet whose counsel you don't follow?" This tore at me for some time, as I read account after account of people praying and considering and seeking to know God's will for them, and then coming out in opposition of the amendment. I just didn't get how God's prophet could council the members of his church one way, and then God could individually tell others that they were right in not following that same counsel.

This kind of thing plagued me on my mission as well. I didn't understand how someone could be praying and pondering and reading the scriptures and NOT be getting the promptings that they needed to join the church. It just didn't make any sense to me. Aren't we told as missionaries that if they pray they'll get an answer?

Anyway, as I ponder and pray now, I am realizing a lot of things. To borrow a line from the movie Rudy, I've learned two things for sure. "One, there is a God, and two, I'm not Him." You see, each of us is an individual son or daughter of God, of that I am convinced. And as individuals, our points in the path of spiritual progression will all be individual. I have no right to judge anyone else's spirituality or their personal relationship with their Heavenly Father. And no one has any right to call my spirituality into question as well.

I have often said that I didn't understand the Gospel until I had kids. Only now can I understand the individual relationships and complete selfless love that a Father has for His children. Recently I've been able to individualize chores and household duties among Haley and Emmy. One can be told to do something without the other one being told to do it as well. It's been a shock to their worlds, to say the least. I'll tell Emmy to go get ready for bed and brush her teeth, and often I'll be met with the response "But why doesn't Haley have to!!??" So if I can give my kids individualized instruction within the framework of a higher vision than they have, why should I not allow my Father to give His children individualized instruction within a greater framework?

And the greater framework is not "Support Prop 8", the greater framework was given by the Master Teacher Himself, when he said, "Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.... and love thy neighbor as thyself." That's really the important thing. And again, that relationship is an individual thing.

So, to all my neighbors -- friends, family, etc., whereever you may be -- if I offended you with my stance on a controversial issue, if I responded to your stance in a less-than-friendly manner, if I spoke harshly, if I questioned your spirituality or your testimony, I apologize and beg your forgiveness. I have grown as a result of this opportunity to critically examine my own beliefs. I hope you have as well. I pray that we will all have the emotional and spiritual maturity to allow each other our differing points of view free from judgement or offense.

Peace, yo.